The Art of Letting Go: Why Holding On Too Tight Can Hold You Back
Listen up, adventurers of authenticity,
Let’s dive into one of life’s sneakiest challenges: letting go. And no, I’m not talking about forgetting where you put your car keys (though if that’s your issue, I can’t help you). I mean letting go of the emotional baggage, toxic relationships, and unrealistic expectations that weigh us down. It is one of the hardest skills to master, but also one of the most liberating. So grab your metaphorical backpack, and let’s unpack some of this weight together.
Why Do We Hold On?
Let’s face it: humans are professional hoarders—of feelings, habits, grudges, and even mismatched socks. (I, myself, have several pairs.) Why do we cling to things that no longer serve us? The answer is simple: fear. Fear of change, fear of the unknown, or maybe even fear of admitting we were wrong.
Take me, for example. I once held onto a position that I knew, deep down, wasn’t working. Why? Because I had already poured so much time and energy into it, I convinced myself quitting would mean I had wasted it all. (Spoiler alert: I wasted more time by holding on.)
We hold on because it feels safer to clutch the familiar, even if it is painful, than to step into the unknown. It’s like clinging to a sinking boat instead of swimming toward the shore. But here is the truth: letting go does not mean failure. It means making space for something better.
What Are You Really Holding Onto?
Think about it. Are you holding onto a friendship that feels more like an obligation than a joy? Are you clinging to a belief about yourself that is outdated, like an expired coupon you’re convinced will still work? Maybe you’re gripping so tightly to perfectionism that you’re missing the beauty of imperfection. (Side note: I am a perfectionist and a procrastinator. One of these days, I am going to be awesome! Hey, I can only work on one issue at a time.)
Here’s a fun exercise: Imagine holding onto a cactus. At first, you’re determined to keep it because it’s yours. But the longer you hold it, the more it hurts. Holding onto a cactus isn’t bravery; it’s unnecessary pain. So why do we do it with emotional cacti? Set it down, and for the love of aloe vera, stop hugging things that hurt you.
Letting Go Feels Hard (And That’s Okay)
Let’s not sugarcoat it: letting go is hard. It can feel like ripping off a Band-Aid, only to discover there’s still another Band-Aid underneath. But the pain of holding on can be far worse than the temporary discomfort of letting go.
One of the biggest challenges is the emotional attachment we form. We convince ourselves that if we let go, we will lose a part of ourselves. But in reality, letting go is about shedding what’s weighing us down so we can grow into something new.
The Freedom of Letting Go
Here is a little secret: every time you let go of something that doesn’t serve you, you create room for something better. When I finally walked away from that position I mentioned earlier, I felt an immediate sense of relief—like I could finally breathe again. I felt free. And wouldn’t you know it? That space I created was quickly filled with opportunities far more aligned with my passions and values.
Letting go is like pruning a tree. (Spoiler alert: I have a hard time pruning trees. I know it is necessary, but it feels like cutting away an old friend.) It feels drastic in the moment, but it’s the only way to make room for new growth.
Practical Ways to Let Go
Okay, enough theory. Let’s talk action. Here are some trail-tested ways to start letting go:
- Reframe the Narrative: Instead of seeing letting go as “giving up,” view it as “moving forward.” You’re not losing something—you’re gaining freedom.
- Create a Goodbye Ritual: Write a letter you’ll never send or throw something symbolic in the trash—rituals help you process the act of letting go.
- Focus on What You’re Gaining: Every time you say no to something, you’re saying yes to something else. What’s waiting for you on the other side of letting go?
- Seek Support: Letting go doesn’t have to be a solo hike. Share your journey with a trusted friend, coach, or even a journal (if that’s your thing).
Remember, every time you put down an emotional cactus, you are freeing up both hands for something that nourishes instead of hurts.
Blaze Your Own Trail
Letting go isn’t about erasing the past. It is about freeing yourself to step into a future that’s authentic and aligned with who you are. So the next time you catch yourself gripping a metaphorical cactus, ask yourself: “Is this worth the pain, or is it time to let go?” (Seriously, if you are literally holding onto a cactus – Why?).
Closing Thought
Alright, adventurers of authenticity, here is your challenge: What’s one ‘emotional cactus’ you’re ready to toss this week? A grudge you’ve been watering like a houseplant? A habit that’s overstayed its welcome? Or maybe those “I’ll totally start jogging tomorrow” sneakers mocking you from the corner? Share it in the comments—bonus points if your story is so hilariously dramatic it could be a sitcom episode.
Lighten your load, reclaim your joy, and let’s laugh our way to growth together.
And always remember, Trailblazers: Do more than exist—be.
With gratitude (and slightly fewer pokes from cacti),
~kk