Unpacking the “Shoulds”: Ditching Expectations to Blaze Your Own Trail

Leave the ‘shoulds’ behind. Follow your own path.

Alright, Let’s Talk About the “Shoulds”

We all know about the heavy baggage of “shoulds,” right? Those sneaky little societal whispers that tell us how we should look, act, and achieve success—preferably all by noon on a Monday. (Right, no problem.) It’s like walking around with a backpack stuffed full of other people’s expectations, and somehow, we’re supposed to skip down the trail with a smile on our face. Well, I say it’s time to unpack that bag.

Quick question: If you could ditch one “should” right now, which one would it be? Go ahead, imagine the weight lifting off your shoulders.

Where the “Shoulds” Come From (and Why They’re Useless)

Let’s break it down. Somewhere along the way, we picked up a list of instructions for living—kind of like IKEA directions, but without the helpful illustrations. (And let’s be real, aren’t directions just suggestions anyway?) We’re told to work hard, look polished, make X amount of money, and, oh, by the way, make it all look effortless. Sure, easy peasy, right?

But here’s the kicker: Whose “shoulds” are these, anyway? My guess is they came from a mix of family, friends, society, and maybe that one overachieving neighbor who insists on mowing their lawn at 7 a.m. (Dude, we get it. You’re a morning person.) We end up in this pressure cooker of “shoulds,” trying to measure up to standards that were never even ours to begin with. It’s like borrowing someone else’s sweater and wondering why it doesn’t fit.

Imagine a Life Without “Shoulds”

Now, here’s a game-changer: What would happen if you gave yourself permission to redefine those “shoulds”? Imagine waking up tomorrow and deciding, “Actually, I don’t need to follow that unwritten rule about success looking a certain way.”

Would you dress differently? Would you walk a little taller, feeling lighter without the weight of those expectations? Picture yourself in that freedom—what are you doing, wearing, saying? It’s amazing how much room there is to breathe when we let go of these borrowed rules.

Some Ridiculous “Shoulds” We All Need to Unpack

Let’s be real—some of these “shoulds” make absolutely zero sense when you actually think about them:

• You should be “on” 24/7: Apparently, success means you’re always hustling. If I had a dollar for every time I felt guilty for, you know, taking a nap, I could afford a professional nap coach. (Note to self: look into that.)
• You should only do “serious” work: Because humor, apparently, has no place in professional life. Imagine if Seinfeld were a business consultant: “What’s the deal with PowerPoint presentations?!” You’d hire him, wouldn’t you?
• You should have it all figured out by now: Let’s be honest—no one knows what they’re doing. We’re all winging it to some degree, even the people in fancy suits with very serious expressions. Life is just a trail where everyone’s trying not to trip.

Replace Your “Shoulds” with “Coulds”

Let’s try a different approach. Instead of “should,” let’s use “could.” This subtle shift opens up a world of possibility without the pressure. Give it a try:

• “I could wear what makes me feel comfortable and confident.”
• “I could take time to do work that brings me joy, even if it doesn’t fit someone else’s idea of ‘serious.’”
• “I could define success as showing up fully, quirks and all.”

Now, grab a piece of paper (or go for a walk if you’re feeling outdoorsy, but don’t forget your coffee) and write down three things you could do that would bring you closer to living your own truth. How would your life feel if you leaned into these choices? Go ahead, imagine it.

Letting Go of the “Shoulds” to Blaze Your Own Trail

Here’s the thing: life’s too short to live by everyone else’s rulebook. True success comes from finding your own way and showing up as your genuine self. Ditch the “shoulds,” embrace the “coulds,” and blaze your own trail.

Ready to start? What’s one “should” you’re letting go of today? Drop it in the comments, and let’s keep this journey going. And remember, do more than exist—be.

With gratitude,

~kk